ADHD and stealing in kids—do children with ADHD really tend to steal more? What’s behind the sudden urge to take something that isn’t theirs? Parents often feel confused and worried when this happens. Let’s look at why this behavior might occur in kids with ADHD.
Is stealing a sign of DHD? Kids with ADHD don’t steal because they’re “bad”—they struggle with impulse control, emotional regulation, and attention. Experts like Dr. Ned Hallowell explain that these brain-based challenges can lead to poor decision-making in the moment. This article breaks down how ADHD traits can lead to stealing and what parents can do to help.
But impulsivity isn’t the only factor at play. What role do routines, discipline, and emotional awareness have? Stick around as we uncover the facts, expert advice, and real-world tools to help your child stay on the right track.
What’s the Link Between ADHD and Stealing?
Is stealing part of ADHD? The connection between ADHD and lying and stealing is not always about morality or intent but often stems from the neurological and behavioral characteristics of the disorder.
ADHD is marked by impulsivity, inattention, and, in some cases, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ADHD—traits that can significantly affect a child’s judgment and behavior.
Children with ADHD may act without thinking through the consequences, have difficulty understanding ownership, or struggle with managing emotions like jealousy or frustration.
These tendencies can sometimes lead to behaviors like taking things that don’t belong to them, not because they are deliberately defiant or dishonest, but because they are grappling with the underlying traits of ADHD.
Moreover, stealing can be a symptom of deeper psychological or developmental challenges that often co-occur with ADHD, such as conduct disorder or emotional dysregulation. Understanding the root causes behind the behavior is the first step in addressing it effectively.
4 Reasons Your Child with ADHD Might Steal
Stealing in children with ADHD often arises from a confluence of psychological needs, impulsive tendencies, and emotional struggles. Here are four key reasons this behavior might occur:
1. Your Child with ADHD May Steal to Meet Personal Needs
Children with ADHD may steal to fulfill immediate personal desires—whether it’s a toy, a snack, or money—without contemplating the ethical or legal implications. This is not usually premeditated theft but rather an impulsive reaction to a want or need.
Often, these children are not trying to be deceptive but are overwhelmed by the need for gratification and lack the internal pause button that allows others to stop and think before acting. Their brain’s reward system is wired differently, and they may be more prone to seeking out immediate satisfaction through any available means.
For instance, a child might take a sibling’s toy simply because they want to play with it now, not fully understanding or considering that this constitutes stealing.
2. Child May Lack Impulse Control or Have Lowered Executive Functioning
Impulse control is one of the most impacted executive functions in children with ADHD. Executive functioning includes skills like planning, self-monitoring, delayed gratification, and emotional regulation. When these abilities are underdeveloped, a child may act on sudden impulses without considering the impact of their actions.
This neurological deficit makes it challenging for children with ADHD to resist temptation. If they see something they want, the desire can override the cognitive steps required to reflect on whether it’s right or wrong to take it.
Lower executive functioning can also make it hard for a child to understand cause-and-effect reasoning. They may not grasp why child’s stealing is wrong or anticipate the consequences of their behavior.
3. Conduct Disorders Cause Kids with ADHD to Steal
In some cases, stealing is linked not just to ADHD itself but to co-occurring disorders. One such example is Conduct Disorder (CD) or Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)—conditions often seen alongside ADHD.
Children with conduct disorder may display a persistent pattern of behavior that includes violating rules, aggression, and a blatant disregard for the rights of others. When ADHD and conduct disorder overlap, the risk of antisocial behavior, including repeated stealing, increases.
It’s essential to distinguish between a one-time impulsive act and a pattern of behavior that points to deeper emotional or behavioral problems. A professional assessment can help identify whether this bipolar disorder is contributing to the stealing behavior.
4. Social or Emotional Difficulties
Children with ADHD often struggle with low self-esteem, peer rejection, and emotional dysregulation. Stealing can sometimes be a misguided way to gain social acceptance or cope with emotional distress.
For example, a child may steal a toy or gadget to impress peers, hoping to gain friendship or approval. Others may use stealing as a form of self-soothing or retaliation—particularly if they feel misunderstood, neglected, or overly disciplined.
Furthermore, emotional impulsivity—a hallmark of ADHD—can lead a child to act out during moments of anger, sadness, or jealousy. In these instances, stealing becomes an emotional reaction rather than a rational decision.
What To Do If Your Child With ADHD Is Stealing
If you discover that your child with ADHD is stealing, it’s important not to overreact or immediately label them as “bad.” Instead, approach the situation with curiosity, empathy, and a desire to understand the why behind the behavior.
Here’s how to respond constructively:
- Stay calm and non-confrontational. Reacting with anger or shame can escalate the problem and damage trust.
- Have a conversation. Ask open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me what happened?” or “What were you thinking at that moment?”
- Help them understand the impact. Use age-appropriate language to explain how stealing affects others and why it’s not acceptable.
- Create opportunities for restitution. If possible, encourage your child to return the item or apologize to the person involved.
- Identify triggers. Keep track of when and why the stealing happens—this can help you anticipate and prevent future incidents.
- Involve a mental health professional. A child psychologist or behavioral therapist can assess for co-occurring conditions and provide strategies tailored to your child’s needs.
How Do You Set Boundaries with a Child Who Steals?
Setting clear, consistent boundaries is essential for managing stealing behavior in children with ADHD. Here are proven strategies that help reinforce accountability without shame:
- Establish rules and consequences. Clearly define what is acceptable and what isn’t, and explain the consequences of breaking those rules in advance.
- Use visual reminders. Charts, checklists, or social stories can help reinforce rules and routines, especially for younger children.
- Reinforce positive behavior. Acknowledge and reward honesty, even in small situations. Positive reinforcement strengthens trust and self-regulation.
- Limit temptations. Keep valuables, snacks, or off-limits items out of easy reach or in secured spaces.
- Model appropriate behavior. Demonstrate ethical behavior and problem-solving at home. Children with ADHD learn a lot through observation.
- Provide alternative outlets. Channel your child’s need for excitement or reward into structured activities like sports, art, or interactive games that meet their neurological need for stimulation.
Consistency is key. Over time, boundaries become internalized, and your child learns to regulate their behavior more effectively—even if progress happens slowly.
Commonly Asked Questions about ADHD and Disruptive Behavior Disorders (FAQs)
Do kids with adhd steal things?
Some children with ADHD may steal due to impulsivity, seeking stimulation, or forgetfulness—not malice. Teaching consequences and coping skills helps. If children steal repeatedly, consult a therapist for strategies.
Is lying and stealing a symptom of ADHD?
Lying and stealing can be ADHD symptoms due to impulsivity or poor judgment, not intent. A child with ADHD stealing and lying disorder often acts without thinking—address with calm guidance, not punishment.
Is stealing a symptom of DHD?
Stealing can be a sign of ADHD due to impulsivity, but it’s not diagnostic. Address the behavior with structure and empathy, and rule out other causes like trauma or ODD.
What is the relationship between ADHD and stealing?
The relationship between stealing and ADHD is complex. Children diagnosed with ADHD may exhibit impulsive behavior, which can lead to difficulties in understanding the consequences of their actions. This impulsivity may manifest as stealing, as these children might not fully grasp that stealing is wrong or may act on the impulse without thinking.
Why do children with ADHD sometimes steal?
Children and adolescents with ADHD may steal for various reasons, including impulsivity, a desire for attention, or even to test boundaries. The impulsive nature of ADHD symptoms can lead to behaviors like stealing, as these children may struggle to control their urges and may not consider the potential consequences.
How can parents help children with ADHD who steal?
Parents of children with ADHD should focus on teaching their child the importance of honesty and understanding the consequences of their actions. Open communication, setting clear expectations, and seeking help from a psychiatrist or therapist can be beneficial. Addressing underlying causes of stealing, such as emotional or behavioral problems, is also crucial.
Are stealing and lying common in children with ADHD?
Yes, stealing and lying can be common behaviors in children diagnosed with ADHD. These behaviors may stem from impulsive tendencies or fear of consequences. It’s essential for parents to recognize these behaviors as symptoms of ADHD rather than simply moral failings, allowing for more compassionate responses.
What ADHD symptoms might lead to stealing?
ADHD symptoms such as impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattention can contribute to stealing behaviors. A child with ADHD may act without thinking, leading them to take things that do not belong to them. Understanding these symptoms can help parents and caregivers address the behavior effectively.
Can ADHD medications help reduce stealing behavior?
ADHD medications used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder may help reduce impulsivity and improve self-control in children. By managing ADHD symptoms, these medications can potentially decrease the likelihood of stealing and other behavior problems. However, medication should be part of a comprehensive treatment plan that includes behavioral interventions.
What should I do if I suspect my child is stealing?
If you suspect your child is stealing, it’s important to approach the situation calmly and without judgment. Discuss your concerns with your child and seek to understand their motivations. Consulting with a mental health professional can provide additional support and strategies for addressing the behavior effectively.
How can I teach my child with ADHD about the consequences of stealing?
Teaching a child with ADHD about the consequences of stealing requires patience and clarity. Use real-life examples to illustrate the impact of stealing on others and help them understand that their actions have repercussions. Encourage open discussions about honesty and integrity, and reinforce positive behaviors through praise and rewards.
Is it normal for children with ADHD to struggle with lying?
Yes, it is not uncommon for children with ADHD to struggle with lying. Kids with ADHD may lie to avoid punishment or because they have difficulty controlling their impulses. Addressing lying behavior requires understanding its roots in the ADHD symptoms and providing guidance on honesty and accountability.
Conclusion
Why kids with adhd lying? Stealing in children with ADHD is rarely a sign of deep moral failure or deliberate defiance. Instead, it’s often an expression of impulsivity, emotional overwhelm, or unmet psychological needs. By understanding the unique challenges posed by ADHD and stealing, caregivers can respond not with punishment but with guidance, empathy, and structure.
Recognizing the why behind the behavior allows parents and educators to intervene in ways that promote accountability and emotional growth. With the right support—whether through therapy, consistent parenting strategies, or school-based interventions—children with ADHD can learn to manage their impulses, understand right from wrong, and develop into trustworthy, responsible individuals.
If you’re concerned about your child’s behavior, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Early intervention can make all the difference in changing the trajectory and fostering a lifetime of positive habits and self-awareness.
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